Just show up

Sometimes, especially when I’m new to something or somewhere (new job, new gathering, new “something”), I get reasonably nervous. Depending on the situation, I might get more than reasonably nervous.

I have to remember that this is normal; a new situation triggers the cycle of anxiety: high expectations, fear of failure, what-ifs, and I know these are usually self-imposed. All normal. But knowing they are “normal” and expected doesn’t make them less real. Trying to calm down is not as easy.

In those cases, I just have to remember to show up to the thing in question and let things evolve naturally. It is similar to the first time(s) I went on a rollercoaster; I was very nervous—after all, that’s what the rollercoaster is all about. Waiting in line, listening to all the other people screaming. I had second thoughts; I didn’t want to hop in anymore. I don’t even remember how my dad calmed me and convinced me, but it was just a matter of keeping doing it. That was several decades ago. Of course, he was right, and I had a lot of fun.

Today, as a grown-up, I still have those feelings. I let them flow, and just show up the next day and let things happen. They usually go really smoothly.