It is hard to acknowledge mistakes

I mean, it is really hard; it exposes our vulnerabilities, it highlights our weaknesses, and potentially reduces the trust others have on us. And yet, it is crucial to acknowledge them as soon as we realize we made them. That is the first step to learn from those mistakes, and if needed, compensate for the damage incurred if any.

Failure to admit a mistake, often evolves into making things worse, because the problem is still there, and you might be tempted to double down on your explanation of “it wasn’t me”, and eventually when discovered, the trust is completely lost. It is not for the first occurrence which can be an honest mistake that happens to anyone, but for the insistence of “It wasn’t my fault”.

I have been thinking of this for a recent event when someone, instead of admitting their mistake doubled down making me feel even worse. The details are not important, but things would have been very different if the mistake was acknowledged: “I’m sorry I knocked down your block tower, I’ll be more careful next time”. But apparently it was really hard to do.

Now I want to be fair, I have made mistakes too, and (I believe) I try to apologize and admit the fault as early as possible, in my case the guilt feeling is enough to make me admit the problem.

But it is hard.

We need to create a safe environment where the mistakes are not punished or reprimanded and if punitive actions are needed these need to be proportional. A safe place where frank conversations can take place and solutions can be found together. If the mistake repeats, depending on the nature we can offer help, try again or try something else. All of this is easier said than done, but is necessary.

I wrote more about “How to make mistakes” in a previous post.